my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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