You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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