I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
