she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
