I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
