i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize