I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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