so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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