I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
