cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
