yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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