That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize