We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
