girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
