He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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