put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
