Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
