so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
