I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You know, be my cock's hype man.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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