I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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