Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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