I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
