There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize