she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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