Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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