Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize