Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
