you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
