There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
