he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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