I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
