I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
