I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize