My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
