do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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