Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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