I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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