If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
