I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize