in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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