On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
