a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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