ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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