I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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