When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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