Umm I'm too high to move.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
