I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
