Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
