He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
