It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
