When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
