Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
