I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
