I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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