you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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