I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
