the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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