eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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