I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize