Can i not drive my cunt home
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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