I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize