Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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