I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
