wanna go halves on a baby?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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