Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
