The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think we might need a safe word for this...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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