He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
