I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
