Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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