i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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