i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
