If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
